There’s A First Line For Everything

My fingers were poised above the keyboard, tense and motionless, waiting for orders that never come – like soldiers about to attack a rebel town, unaware that their government has abdicated. The purpose of this first sentence is twofold. Firstly, to try and describe what writer’s block is like and secondly because the line is

Photographic Memories

Home Again, house sitting again. Lookin’ through.. photos, at the back of your drawer The way that you looked, When you were small [The Auteurs, Home Again ] It is said that a picture paints a thousand words; this cut no ice with the editor who made it quite clear she wanted the thousand words


There are many of you for whom the phrase Social Network means nothing. Therefore announcing that I’ve joined a new one would be akin to saying: “Just started learning Uzbek; fancied a change from Kazakh.” Most people have heard of Facebook. If you haven’t, to explain briefly: Facebook is a website which allows you to


I’m here at Auld Reekie. Comeseemashow! And here’s my Edinburgh poster! Designed by the lovely ladies at Curious Design  

Critical Conditioning

“Absolutely horrendous. Don’t quit your day job. If you delete this comment it shows that you can’t accept criticism.” So says ChaosDynamics – a YouTube user. What’s got Mr Dynamics all riled up is the presence on the video-sharing website of my first video. At this stage with 850 views, it doesn’t look like it

Changing Rooms

I don’t have a sat nav so I rely on my instincts to find my way. By my calculations it should be ‘up the town’ near the bank and a War of Independence memorial. Sure enough, there it is. One of the small perks of the life of the spailpeening comedian is that every so