One Track Mind

“The Germans think of everything” Someone said this in an advert on Irish television more than twenty years ago. Extensive research (google and asking around) doesn’t yield a precise answer to what the ad was for. I remember it may have been said by a woman in a suggestive put-a-bit-of-butter-on-the-spuds-Andre kind of way. The words

Flight of the Early

      I’m up early this morning – fierce early. The feeling of smugness is overwhelming. That’s not a surprise – the world attaches a moral value attached to it. The early bird catches the worm; early to bed and early to rise leads to health, wealth and wisdom. By contrast, late is only


      They think it’s all over – it will be tonight. Then we can all get back to our lives. Even if you’ve no interest in sport in general but you’ve watched or listened to any kind of broadcasting device over the last while, and are partial to a bit of news, you

No Longer A Banker

  It’s the same every year. A couple of news stories appear, designed specifically to make a certain type of person tut-tut, glance around and wonder what the world is coming to. One of them is the appearance of the Brown Thomas Christmas Department in height of summer. Given the few years they’ve had and

Dental Awareness

I flicked through magazines on the table. There was a comprehensive selection of women’s monthlies. FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR BODY WEEKLY! had an exclusive on some unfortunate celeb who had been been SPOTTED! having the temerity to store some of her body weight as fat. The latest ‘Ireland’s Own’ was there – an reassuring essential

More Than Words

  Taper – it doesn’t sound like a word of great portent.  I first encountered the word in a different context when it was on the list of Pre-Mass tasks for an altar boy. It was one of the more snazzy tasks, along with the Ringing the Bell and being confronted with your neighbour’s mouths

Some Idea

  Elon Musk – it doesn’t sound like the name of a real person. It seems fictional and futuristic. Elon Musk is the name of an outlaw who carries out daring raids on thorium transportation convoys in the badlands of Jupiter’s moons. “Musk cradled his ion-gun as the dust clouds announced the hovertrucks’ arrival. ‘Like


How do you know you’re getting old? When you break into a sprint, without supplying three weeks’ prior notice to your body? Is it the sight of the first few grey hairs in the mirror that look so ludicrous, you think “Aw COME ON, special effects in this movie are cat!“? Or is it at

More Than A Game

Dublin and Cork – two worlds collide again this weekend. Thankfully, the television build up of the rivalry seems to be free of the mythological nonsense that used to presage big GAA matches during the boom period. Ads depicting Cuchulainn passing the sliotar to Niall of the Nine Hostages, fending off a potential hooking by


It’s going to be bigger (marginally, probably an extra page or so) and better (like, not twice as good but definitely a bit better) than the first book. We’re in editing stage at the moment and here’s a sneaky-sneaky preview of the cover. ‘Xciting!

Certified – My New Show at the Cat Laughs

  You know it well, it’s the one where you’re in your pyjamas, your pen has turned into a banana, the invigilator is Alf Stewart and the whole exam is taking place in McCoys in Fair City. You can only be dreaming about one thing: The Leaving Cert. In 2011 he told the recession through

Ireland’s Got Mammies – Bitteen of a Tour

The Show Of The Book Of The Twitter Account is off on a bit of a tour. ‘Do you have a son working in something to do with computers’?, ‘Had you to ask the young one in the shop to put the credit on the phone’? Did you ‘have the pavlova’? Colm O’Regan, creator of